Hello Dear Friends

Okay. Hmm... I have nothing to say, but I thought I as well write something instead of just trying to solve stupid sudoku puzzle.

I'm not sure what is the whole point of this blog thing. I'm guessing it was invented so people would write about their day and their friends could read about it or something like that. But if no one is reading this blog, then I don't see the point writing to express myself in perfect words. It's weird that when I am feeling fine, I have no inspiration for writing. But whenever something horrible happens or just feel sad, I can write forever. Even if I'm writing about the smallest and the most stupid things ever.

Why?

Questions - What's the point?
Answers - They're either lies or they're useless.
Tears - Has crying ever solved a problem?

If all these things are useless and worthless, then why do we constants depend on them. Why do we question everything and everyone? Why do we demand answers, when we know it will no help? Most importantly, why do saturate yourself with self pity and wash our faces with endless tears?

And after all that, even I get pulled into this allusion. Just listen to me! Here, I go on and on about this bullocks, while I, myself, depend on questions and answers.

It is in the equation of humanity. It is the only way to survive. When you happy, right up there, the only thing on your mind is that soon you will have to go back down. And all you can think about is how to make the fall softer or how to keep yourself up there for longer. I tried and tried. Yet, here I am. Back down here. And I can see past it. I don't see a stairways to heaven.

This blog entry is not for someone to read and understand or for someone to be entertained by. This is primarily and only for me. I thought if I try to put this fucked up mixture into words, maybe it will let my mind relax for a bit.

I would love to continue typing about meaningless shit but I need to get some sleep with I want to be alive tomorrow. The other option is to continue and be even more lost tomorrow. Actually, that is not an option.

Who's There?

If anyone actualy read this bloggy thingy, can you let yourself be heard?!?

Old

The following is an old entry which I forgot to post:
"I'm speechless. It took me 5 minutes to write that sentence. Now another 5 minutes have gone past. Actually, about 20 minutes ago, I wrote about 5 HUGE paragraphs. I written more then anything before. But then my computer froze. So, the following is all I can recall which is really not much compared to what I have written before. Blame the virus which possesses my computer.
And now I have no idea what to do. I think I should start seeking for a job because if nothing happens soon there is no way I will get into any college. And to make things worse some people from school saw me having 'cookies'. But to be truthful I was far too angry and sad to hide or care. As if that's not enough I started to feel sick at the end of lunch. Thinking I might get better, I went to humanities. I sat down, put my head on the table and lied down for about 10 minutes but then the teacher came and started giving work. This meant I had to sit up and since that requires movement, I suddenly started feeling more sick. I stood up to go and get the bin, just in case I was physically sick. But the second I stood up, I became so dizzy. My head started spinning. So instead, I asked Ieva (who was sitting next to me) to go and get the bin. She told me to go to the nurse. And anyone who knows Ieva, also it is not worth disagreeing with her. So, I went to the nurse. I spend the whole first lesson there. Then went back to my lesson and after a while I was fine. There was few other things on top of that but I am really not going to mention them just in case someone does read this."